https://slama.dev/comeback/
So, what do we have here?
Glasses, we have pastries.
We've got it all here, we've got...
What are we missing?
Why the long face, Ivuška?
Breakfast time, time of the gods.
I can't watch this.
I'm amazed you're still alive with eating habits like these.
What do you mean still alive?
Look how well we're doing.
Exactly.
And what's wrong with it?
It's a pretty varied diet.
Look how colorful it is.
Besides, I'm not gonna eat any chicken feed.
Have you ever seen a chicken that made it further than onto my plate?
Go ahead and laugh.
But when you each weigh two hundred kilos, I'll happily donate you to the army for bridge stress tests.
Look at these jeans.
I bought them at Tuzex and how they fit.
Like a glove.
A great fat burner, this guy.
And a looker too.
You've got sausages again, huh?
What sausages?
Sausages are for amateurs, Ivuška.
This is a Giant in the oven.
Simona got it, brand new, test batch.
Did it pass the boil test?
Exactly 240 seconds, boss.
Excellent.
Wait up, man.
With the Giant comes responsibility.
We got a pile of questionnaires and instructions here, this isn't just any sausage.
So listen, they write.
The Giant is not just any sausage.
I see.
The Giant is a revolution in the meat industry.
It also contains all the important ingredients, perfectly balanced, and on top of those, even meat.
Well, a sausage made of meat, that's a revolution.
After the Giant, the world will never be the same again.
And do you realize that a whole Somali village could eat off one of these sausages?
They couldn't, because they weren't entrusted with the Giant.
So, bro, let's get started.
First point.
Juiciness.
Ten out of ten from me.
What's next?
You should have seen it.
Like two Neanderthals, I was totally grossed out.
Have a cookie.
Look, no added sugar, just dried fruit and cereal.
It's so unfair.
We'll be eating health food our whole lives so nobody calls us fat, and them.
Your dad isn't fat though.
Well, he should be.
I need to calm my nerves.
Iva, next week we're going to work out at the pool and Beneš will be there.
That's just four spoonfuls and done.
Look at his famous jeans, okay?
Dude, at forty they won't go on, at sixty they'll shrink on me.
And tell me, what am I supposed to do about it.
Twenty.
Twenty's not enough in practice.
Twenty spoonfuls, Iva, you should really stop now.
I'm so pissed off I could do ninety.
Impossible, come on.
Couldn't they have shrunk somehow?
To forty, like always.
And?
Well.
And now try some other ones.
Come on, get them down!
This can't be right, I mean I've never gained weight.
Well yeah, after the Giant nothing will ever be the same.
It's in.
Super.
Well, I'm off.
I'll swing by later.
Bye.
Hi.
Well, bro, welcome to manhood.
Tomáš, did something happen to you?
I think I need some help.
Help with what?
For starters, with sitting down.
I'll say just two words.
Well, as long as it's not "forward march."
Oak bark.
In a few days you'll be fine again.
Oak bark?
Am I supposed to eat it?
Not eat it, you bathe in it.
Marcelka, how am I supposed to bathe in bark?
Now it's dry.
Tomáš.
Hemorrhoids are nothing to be ashamed of.
Bro, I picked out some music for you.
Michal Tučný, Věra Bílá, The Velerib Choir.
Ozzák, Mr. Pacovský isn't fat.
Just leave it, Marcelka's right.
Look, I've gained weight, I can't get into any pants.
Jesus, you should have said so right away.
Weight loss is my passion.
If I hadn't dieted my whole life, you know what I'd look like?
Good.
Ozzák, we won't be needing you for this.
Don't you want to go run some errands?
You know, I could go for one.
Well, of course, right, it's already 9:55.
And I'll have one for you too, bro.
Because I can.
And above all, no exercise.
Are we in the Middle Ages?
Hasn't science and technology advanced enough for a person to lose weight without stinking of sweat?
Here's a business card for a great doctor.
A few hours of anesthesia and you're ten kilos lighter.
And couldn't we do it without the amputation?
Liposuction, haven't you heard of it?
Jesus, that sounds terrifying.
Couldn't I just go on some diet instead?
You know what, take over for me here, I'll be right back.
Ozzák bet at the pub he could eat three kilos of ground meat, don't wait for him.
You don't know Ozzák, when he was twelve he ate a bucket of sawdust.
Good lord.
And did anything happen to him?
No, he washed it down with a twelve-pack and went for seconds.
What do you have for me?
Science.
So, these are special Swiss diet pills.
They're fantastic, even Madonna takes them.
And I'll be popping pills as the pounds fall off?
Exactly.
And your hair with them.
But for that there are these other ones.
These actually make your hair grow, except they cause hallucinations.
But that's solved by these fizzy ones.
The pharmacist said people sometimes throw up from them, so I also grabbed these for nausea.
My friend took those and her face turned horribly red.
Hence the face mask.
That one is excellent.
And nothing will happen to me from that?
Well, they mention some allergic reaction, but these red ones take care of that for sure.
But Tomáš, be careful with those, only one a day, otherwise you'll get terrible dizziness.
I don't take these ones because you gain a tiny bit of weight from them.
Well, but that's what the first ones are for, right?
Exactly.
What have you done to my father?
I restored his self-confidence, saved his business and organized his life.
Or are you asking about something specific?
Tomáš, I think you've mixed things up a bit.
I think I'm having dizzy spells.
He shouldn't be dieting and popping pills.
No, it was those red little devils.
They were saying, take me, and I said no.
I hid from them in a little cave.
He'll sleep it off.
Weight loss requires sacrifices.
But we two know that well.
There's no choice but to come up with something even a man can handle.
Ozzák, let's stretch that leg.
What are you goofing around with?
Losing weight.
So what about it, bro, have you decided?
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's how it works.
That's just rubbing.
As long as you're having fun.
You know, Ivuška, science has progressed, look.
Today you don't have to go hungry.
I should have had this on my army march.
This machine.
This is a sign of progress.
That's a sign of dementia.
Hi, I think Ozzák is noticeably slimmer.
I'm only doing it out of solidarity.
My figure is perfect.
I happen to have been thinking.
And for the sake of my bro's health, I decided to test the Giants myself.
You pig, can't you wait until it works for me?
This is completely useless.
It's like trying to lose weight with this marker.
Rubbing?
Where does it go?
This is lunch.
Where's dinner?
From now on, this is dinner.
I feel kind of weak.
Well, and when I look at Ozzák's love handles, I get my strength back.
Those aren't love handles, bro.
That's a maxi giant veal sausage.
They wouldn't let me on the tram with it until I bought it a ticket.
You're not even gonna heat it up?
Baby, you know how warm it already is?
Rambo and I had a nice brawl.
Uncle, how could you?
Right when dad is starting to live healthy.
What would an alcoholic do if you put a bottle of vodka in front of him?
Say thanks.
Well bro, thanks a lot then.
Get up and get out with that sausage, right now.
Wait, wait, wait, I have rights too.
Look, this apartment is mine, I make the decisions here.
My house, my castle.
Anyway, I'm going to bed. He who sleeps doesn't eat.
Well, words of wisdom.
And you should go to bed too.
But it's half past six.
Well, high time. You shouldn't eat too much at night anyway.
And I don't want to see this garbage here in the morning.
Give us five minutes.
Good morning.
No thank you, I won't be eating anymore.
You're not going to eat?
I'm surprised myself, but I feel quite full.
And what do you know about this?
And about this.
Were you sleeping?
So I see someone really does eat in their sleep here.
It's a few minutes past midnight and we're still waiting for the male of the species homo sapiens to appear.
Lexa, can you take your hand off my leg?
Sorry, I got confused.
Yeah, with what exactly?
Well, with mine.
Look, it's not enough to just catch him in the act.
I think he's sleepwalking.
Starving during the day and raiding the fridge at night.
Only hard evidence will convince him.
Let's hope you can pull this off.
Don't worry.
Night photos are my specialty, I practice on the internet.
Discreet yet sharp.
Well, now I'm not only not scared anymore, I can't see anything either.
Let's go.
Good morning!
Man, finally they'll believe I'm sleepwalking.
They wouldn't believe you even if you photographed a wedding thief.
Jesus.
Hey, why are you all up so early?
I've still got the rest of the Maxi Giant in the fridge, so I got up early.
Wrong, you don't, it duly departed in the night.
It was still relatively fresh.
Where'd it go?
Come on, bro, why don't you try what I'm doing?
A few days of abstinence and I don't even miss food.
And there's a cozy little room in our tummy.
No wonder, when there's a Maxi Giant sitting in there.
What do you mean?
Like this.
Well well, you ate it with chocolate.
But that can't be me.
Good lord, I have no idea what to do about this, but it would make a nice poster.
No, I need to take measures.
This can't go on.
One for all, all for one.
It's your duty to support me.
Don't make that face, bro, it'll only do you good.
What are we having for lunch?
Well, see, I think it's getting better.
What?
And it'll get even better?
This morning it occurred to me that I should stop eating for good.
Not eating isn't the solution.
You can eat as much as you want.
Bro, I never thought I'd say this, but she's right.
But only this.
I've been snacking on it for years.
And look at me.
It's an excellent thing.
Try it.
I'm just terrified by the thought that it's made from the same material as the packaging.
Puffed rice and corn husks.
Delicious.
So delicious I'll save it for later.
Thank you.
And you?
Well, I'll just take an advance and pop out for goulash with six dumplings.
Don't give him anything.
The weight loss machine cost a fortune.
Don't you have something to eat?
Anything, pal, even just a roll.
Damn.
Please.
For a schnitzel or a candy bar.
You know, but...
I get it, I know, but at least a piece of salami.
Hey, what are you doing in there?
Why is everyone running away?
Are you forbidding them from buying popular music? Come here right now.
You'll be at the register.
What are you doing?
Food.
Are you hungry?
Food.
Think that'll be enough?
I also put an alarm inside.
Dad, I need to tell you something.
Iva, show me your teeth.
You've been eating strudel.
What?
Of course, strudel.
Do you know how many calories are in it?
I've only had toothpaste since this morning.
Toothpaste?
Do you know how many calories are in toothpaste?
Dad.
Yeah.
The pants.
They actually must have shrunk after all.
Are you mad?
So I didn't gain weight?
Well, apparently not.
Ivuška, thank you.
And you know why?
Because I feel wonderful.
Did you know a person can survive without food for up to 60 days?
And what will he do on day 61?
We'll see, we'll see.
Dad, if you slim down like this.
I've never felt better in my life, and don't worry, I'll eat tonight.
Look.
I'll have this.
So that's how it works.
I see it did you good.
I wouldn't touch this.
It was the mice.
Mice?
When?
Where?
How many?
And how big are they?
I don't know, they're definitely not small.
Well, we definitely can't leave it like this.
I'll run and get mousetraps.
Mousetraps?
Yeah.
And you want to serve them this crap?
Look, they nibbled on it and left it alone.
I'll buy some cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese, not a bad idea, but you know, these are city mice.
Right, you can't impress them with just anything.
And I don't intend to impress them, I intend to kill them.
Wait, every mouse has its own character.
Some like Hungarian salami, some like ham, some like tripe soup.
Tripe soup in a mousetrap?
Well, it'll get messy all around.
Yeah, alright, I guess you know better.
See you then.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, and olives, I forgot the olives.
Those are the mice's favorite.
Well, see that?
What?
Not even the traps are left.
The critters dragged them off somewhere.
But I don't see any droppings either.
You can track mice?
I mean mouse droppings and pellets.
But we saw them.
They were mice.
This big.
Well then it's rattus norvegicus.
And a big one at that.
Yeah.
But I didn't hire you for an expert consultation, I hired you for an expert extermination.
Let's get to it then.
We'll go with the classic mouse killer, it's cheap, it works fast, it's guaranteed.
They croak in horrible convulsions.
Marcelka, could I have a moment, about dad's diet.
Ivuška, just a sec, I've got the pest control guy here.
We have mice here?
What are you going to do with them?
Nothing much, classic deratization, biological.
Attractants without E-numbers, preservatives and such.
I thought you were going to poison them.
Well, duh.
How could I even think you'd help me with dad.
If you're capable of killing someone just because they're hungry, then I'm at the wrong address.
But Ivuška...
Let her go.
These eco-freaks, I run into them every day.
They're all a bit nuts.
Well, would you look at that.
Here it is.
But one more thing.
Well, what?
This mouse killer extra.
It's not exactly legal.
And it's more like banned.
Some complications because of the Vietnam War or something, I don't know.
Basically if anything happens, anything at all, call me first.
Yes, the code word is Crisis, Crisis.
Crisis.
All the time, 24 hours a day I'm on the phone.
Alright.
Same here.
Here you go, my mouse killer.
Over my dead body.
Good night.
The fridge is in the basement, it reminded dad of food.
And where's the food?
In the fridge.
I'm going to the basement.
But not ours, at Slavíková's.
Have some.
Ivuška, can I come in now, please, please.
Hide it.
See, nobody's eating here anymore.
Alright, I'm coming.
See, you've already got a flat stomach.
Iva, you've been eating here.
It's dumplings, pork and cabbage.
Smells good.
It's pork.
It's not.
I was just tasting it.
It's poisoned now!
What?
That's why it tasted so awful.
And how much of it did you eat?
This could kill you now.
Kill?
Yeah.
I thought the worst it could cause is diarrhea.
What have I done?
I knew I should have stuck with the Maxi Giant.
Crisis!
This is the end!
Crisis!
So many things I didn't get to do in life.
Put together a zeppelin.
Sing with Nirvana.
Quick, come here.
Ozzák's been poisoned.
Ozzák!
Ozzák, don't fall asleep.
Try to throw it up.
Bring me twelve beers and eight rums and I can try.
What happened?
Ozzák ate poisoned food.
I always said his eating would kill him one day.
I told you so, you.
You.
It's all my fault.
For God's sake, what happened?
A child, a dog, or someone stupid enough to eat rat bait?
How dare you talk about my brother like that, you scumbag?
Dammit man, why did you eat it?
I was terribly hungry.
There's a picture on it.
I thought it was the Megadeth logo.
And can he still be saved?
No need to call an ambulance.
We're equipped for cases like this.
I'll be right there.
I'll be right back.
In case he goes into cardiac arrest or something.
Do something.
Don't worry, Marcelka.
Don't blame yourself.
I forgive you.
Thank you.
You have to promise me you'll listen to metal.
I promise.
Bro, swear it.
Swear that from today you'll eat like a normal person.
Eleven times a day.
Call Aleš Brichta, I want to confess.
Hold him!
I want to die!
Die!
No hamster would survive being poisoned with that stuff.
Jesus, from that can it was just cornflakes.
Exactly.
You know what, I actually feel good now.
Kind of lighter, you know?
Of course, they pumped half of the last Giant out of your stomach.
And where did he put it?
Uncle.
Dad, how can you eat in front of a sick person when he can't?
The diet is over. I promised Ozzák on his deathbed.
Well, on his death counter.
This view is worth laying down your life for.